It is a little past midnight, and as usual, I am experiencing another episode of insomnia. But this is not the normal insomnia that strikes from time to time. I can't sleep because I am deeply troubled by something that I just can not get out of my mind. I wanted to share it with you because perhaps you have been troubled by the same thing too. It is a question I have pondered over and over concerning prayer. I have heard explanations from preachers and Bible teachers, but I guess I have never been completely satisfied by their explanations. What troubles me is that I get different explanations almost every time I ask the question. The question is what good does it do to ask God for things? I believe that God's will is perfect, and His will will be done. So if His will is set, why should I ask for anything? Will God really change His mind for me? Further, if it is already His will, won't it happen whether I ask for it or not?
I know the explanations about unanswered prayer. I, just as you, have asked God for some things, yet did not receive them. Later, we found out that not getting what we wanted was actually a good thing. But how many times have we prayed for someone who may have been sick or in a car crash, and asked God to heal them. Sometimes He does, but sometimes He does not. I am not questioning His wisdom, but I do question the meaning of a few Bible verses. Jesus says in John 15:7, "Ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you". He also said in Matthew 7:8, "Everyone who asks receives." In Matthew 21:22, Jesus said, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer". John 14:14 records Jesus saying, "Ask anything in my name, and I will do it." Psalms 37:4 says, "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." I am a true warrior for Christ, but I have to admit that my faith has been seriously shaken lately. I am on the verge of not writing anymore devotions. Have you ever been to that point before? You know, the point where you seem to question things about faith in God? I am just lost!
Father, forgive me for not understanding. Please strengthen my faith. I know You created me, and You certainly know what is going on inside my heart. Is it too much to ask for a personal miracle? I have asked for it in Your name, You know it is my heart's desire, and I have believed that it will happen. But my asking has not lead to my receiving. Lord, my heart is crying out to You right now. In Jesus name, Amen.