I used to absolutely love Halloween! Even though I am a Christian, I have never seen the harm in having fun during this fall festival. Those Christians who believe that it is a "sin" to celebrate Halloween have their opinions. But if you look up the origins of Halloween, it was started by Christians. Anyway, this devotion is not a debate for or against Halloween. Like I said, I used to love this time of year. But sadly, Halloween stirs up extremely hurtful memories from last year. It's been almost a year now since then, but admittedly, I am no closer to healing than I was last year. Now, I truly feel haunted by all the Halloween decor that is all over town. Just the sound of the word 'Halloween' brings chills down my spine. Across the street from my house, my neighbors have built a "haunted forest". They do it every year, and there will literally be 100 people to go through it every night. Because the air so nice outside, I like to leave the door in my bedroom open. But all I hear are screams, chainsaws, and the Halloween theme playing over my neighbor's loud speakers. I feel like I am losing it; I feel like I am truly being haunted!
I have prayed and prayed and prayed about this. I have asked God to get me over the hurt. I have asked God to get me over the loneliness and despair. Some days are better than others, but overall, I am still bogged down in my own grief. But I will NEVER give-up on God. There is a reason why I am still suffering. I don't know why, and I sometimes get upset with God, but I do trust Him. Something has got to give, one way or the other! This is probably not a good devotion, but as you know, I always write what's on my heart. If there is anything one can get from this devotion is that God does not always helps us on our time. We have to be patient and wait for His perfect time. I can tell you I have shed over a million tears over this tragedy. I'm sure there will be a million more. But God promises to wipe every one of them from my face. Oh, how I need my Jesus right now!
Jesus boldly told us to "ask anything in my name, and I will do it."
Father, you know very well my heart's desires. I continue to ask for those things because I continue to have faith in You. In Jesus name, Amen.