Friday, June 26, 2009

Heavy Heart

I am writing this devotion with a heavy heart. I must admit I am overcome with fears, even though I am a Christian and have grown closer to the Lord. What aches my heart at this hour is the passing of Farah, Ed McMahon, and Michael Jackson. Not that I was a very big fan of any one of them, but it is still a shock! I don't know about you, but today I find myself questioning my destiny. Why was I placed here on earth? I love teaching, and I am hopeful I make a difference in the lives of students. I have a daughter that adores me, and I adore her as well. Writing these devotions makes me feel maybe I am doing something to further His Kingdom. But knowing that I can pass away at any given breath, isn't it normal to wonder if we are doing all we are meant to do?

The solution to my dilemma is found in prayer. I have prayed many times for this, and many more times in the past few days. I feel like I am doing some of God's will, but am I doing all of His will? That may be a question we all ponder, and a question that may not have a clear-cut answer. I am positive that if I die today, I will go to heaven and live with Jesus. The thought of that is exciting! But I also have a fear of standing before God Almighty, incomplete in all He gave me to do. Again, I'm sure this is a common feeling among all of us. But I guess it is a little stronger on my heart considering the latest deaths. I so want to do His will. I have tried to put my own will aside for His. It is the hardest thing I have ever done! But I will NEVER give up trying!

John 7:17 says, "If anyone wants to do God's will, he shall know.."

Father, please help me to understand your will, and please give me the strength to do all of it. In Jesus name, Amen.

1 comment:

  1. I often ponder when people of fame pass away this question, did they know about Jesus, and if they did were they accepting of the message?
    The hard part is wondering instead of knowing especially because I personally never met or spoke about Christ to these people.

    I try to witness to people about the message of our Savior but one man cannot reach them all. I am sometimes left feeling like Oscar Schindler "I could have saved more" but then quickly realize I don't do the saving God does.

    Still we want to know we are doing the will of the Father who put us here and it is a thought that needs some prayerful pondering. I pray for you and all of us wondering if we are doing God's will to get the clarity we need from the Spirit on this issue and continue in the way of his words!

    Have a blessed day friend