Monday, April 27, 2009


They say that men are more visual than women. I don't know if that is true, but I do know I am very visual. Images of various things get burned into my mind and pop up at any time, and completely without warning. It does not matter where I am or what I am doing, right out of the blue...BAM! As you know, I am still in the grieving process from my divorce to Jackie. I can still see the image of her engagement and wedding rings. I see me buying them, I see me placing them on her finger, and unfortunately, I still see them laying on the divorce papers. I hurt!

Some folks have criticized me for being too transparent in my devotions. And I know I do get pretty personal when I am writing them. But the reason for sharing the most intimate details of my life with you are two-fold: For one thing, it helps me to open up and share my most inner thoughts and feelings, and for another, I am not the only one who is hurting right now. It may not be a divorce in your case, but I'm pretty sure you have an area of your life that needs exposing as well, at least to God. Although I continue to grieve, I also continue to have faith that God will work out this whole mess. It's the hope in Him that I want to share with you. I don't know what our future holds, but I do have hope that it will be a good future together. I have put God in control of it! I just wish I didn't keep taking it back from Him from time to time. I guess that is just human nature. I have to admit that from day one of our marriage, we were not clicking on all cylinders. To this day, the reason why we were not is still shrouded in mystery. Jackie is a wonderful Lady, a great Mother, and a Christian who loves the Lord very much. And believe it or not, in three years together, we never had a single argument or disagreement, and that is the truth! Only God knows what happened, but more importantly, what will happen. What is the image that keeps popping up in your brain? Are you also being haunted by something? Regardless of what it is, just don't lose your sights and hope In Jesus. He can do anything for those that believe. And I believe! Do you?

Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Father, although I am hurting right now, I have hope that You will turn my feelings around. I also pray for Jackie at this hour, as I know she is hurting too. In Jesus name, Amen.

1 comment:

  1. I pray for you brother that Gods will works in your life! I know from experience that sometimes the things we want so bad in our lives are the very things that God has only planned to be short lived . He brings people and situations in our lives for a purpose and he takes them away with no reasoning and it kills us inside because we just dont know why?? It has happened to me as well . I lost a partner as well. But I can tell you this I grieved tremendously for this person. I felt like I was dead inside and suddenly the most wonderful thing happened to me . I met someone that turned all that around. At first I resisted her.I was holding on to my grief for my wife because it made me feel like she was still in my presence.I wanted my wife back and at the same time I wanted this Other miracle .I held on to the hope of a reconciliation one that would never come . And I realized after much prayer that this was over. I had to let go . And when I did I found happiness that I had never dreamed of finding ever again.I just had to stop and share my story because when I read a couple of your blogs , It was as if I was reading about myself and my situation. Never ever give up hope brother, God will show you which path to take I am just thankful that I didnt give up on my now New Wife because I just cant imagine her not in my life now. In all Gods Glory and love......