I had a terrible nightmare last night. I was awakened by my own yell, completely covered in sweat and heart pounding. I have never in my life been so effected by a nightmare. It took nearly an hour for me to finally calm down and go back to sleep. I have had plenty of nightmares over the years, but this one was absolutely the worst! It seemed so real. Even now, images from the dream continue to flash through my mind. Thank God it was only a dream and none of it was actually real. I thank Him for waking me up when He did because I honestly believe I could have suffered a heart attack!
Sometimes our daily problems are like our nightmares; They seem so real but in fact, we just tend to over-worry about stuff. I use the phrase over-worry because we are all humans, and worrying is pretty much par for the course. I have been worried lately about something...in fact, I have worried myself nearly sick! For the past few months, I have been battling depression. The doctor put me on some anti-depressants, and I believe that has helped some. I also think my over-worrying about things doesn't help my situation. But unlike a nightmare, this living nightmare from which I am suffering is very real. As many of you know, I lost my true love back in December to divorce. I have prayed and prayed and prayed that she will come back. As of yet, she has not. I wish I could find the words to describe my intimate and unconditional love for Jackie. She is my soul mate, my heart's only desire, my very best friend. The passing of time has not helped much with my suffering. My entire personality has changed since losing her. Everyday is more and more of a struggle for me. God knows how much I love Jackie! But even though we are still apart, you know what? I still have hope. I still have faith that God will turn this situation around and bring us back together. Jackie is the only woman I will ever love...I'm positive of that! I saw a billboard at a church yesterday that read, "God is working on it...hang in there." Oh, you just don't know how much that lifted my spirits. I serve a living God who can do anything He wants to do. I pray every single day that He will turn her heart back around to me. I absolutely know He can...and sooo much praying that He will! Because I will go to my grave totally in love with that woman!
Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Father, please bring Jackie and me back together. You know how much I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I promise she and I will glorify Your name and be a walking testimony of what You can do. In Jesus name, Amen.
--Posted By Allen Skipper to Jesus Saves at 4/16/2009 02:28:00 AM