One of the reasons I enjoy writing devotions everyday is because it gives me a chance to release my inner thoughts. I'm sure that's good for all of us. Talking to a good friend or writing down our deepest feelings is a great outlet and very healthy mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I used to hold everything inside until finally it worked its way to the surface and then exploded! If you are one to hold things inside, I encourage you to talk with a confidant or write your thoughts down in a diary or such. It can feel very liberating; It can be a great release. My feeling today is one of pure guilt. I'm sure you have experienced this emotion from Satan, so you know how it feels. The reason I feel guilt is because of an Email I got from my mentor. As you know, I have been struggling with the lose of Jackie. My mentor reminded me that although I may not have her, I have been blessed with some pretty awesome things. I have a beautiful daughter, a wonderful career, I am relatively healthy, and I have many very, caring friends. I feel guilty because I am whining about losing one thing when there are so many others out there who have lost many more things! Granted, losing Jackie has all but gotten the best of me, but I have so many more things in which to be thankful.
Satan uses guilt to trap us into feeling worthless. Look what guilt did to Judas Iscariot. It caused him to hang himself. Now I am not even close to that much guilt. I attempted suicide in the 12th grade but I will NEVER try that again. I guess I can truly say that my hope is just a little greater than my guilt. Hope comes from Jesus Christ! I have hope today that everything will work out. According to the Bible, it all works together for the good. I thank my mentor and all my other friends who have encouraged me recently. I am trying so hard to get beyond this point so I can be encouraging to someone else. I have faith I will get past this point because Jesus runs my life, not my temporary feelings.
Psalm 146:5 says, "Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God."
Father, forgive me for clinging to my guilt. Help me to turn everything over to You. I pray for Jackie. I ask you to keep her safe and happy. In Jesus name, Amen.